Queer Eye Review: The Bravo Twins

QE Review “The Twins”


Episode No. 2.26 – Brandon and David Bravo: Taking on the Twins
First Aired in SA: 29 March 2006
Rating: 5


With Carson’s fashion, and especially Kyan’s grooming, the twins looked so much better after the Fab 5 had had their way with them. I found it amazing that the twins were so different: one was like Boston Rob, the other a deep, sensitive poet! Although, both seemed to wrestle the living daylights out of each other, wherever! I seriously thought they were going to injure Ted and squish Carson’s head! I wonder if Carson really did get hurt on day 1? I actually thought it was funny how they were squeezing the food into a mess as well. But seriously, grown men wrestling everywhere is not appealing! It was classic how Carson accidentally throws the football and it breaks the light fixture over Thom and the twins.
Another thing about Thom I’ve neglected to say: He’s pretty damn strong!


Quotes:

Carson: “Ohmigod. Hello, stop it. OK, you can’t wrestle in the store.”

Twin: “I’m on the fruitier side here.”

Kyan: “Stay out of each other’s products.”

Carson: “Please don’t wrestle when wearing couture.”

Twin: “I was clouded but now I can see.”
Carson: “That sounds like a song.”

Twin: “You’re the prep guy. I’m the chef.”
Thom: “There’s gonna be some ass-kicking in that kitchen any minute!”
Carson: “I can see the rage in his eyes… He’s gonna fly off the spatula any second.”
The twins start fighting and the boys enjoy the sight of this and knowing they were right:
Ted: “OK, wait. That’s not appropriate cooking behaviour people.”

Carson: “Is he using his dental work to open that beer bottle? … Holy veneers Batman, that is a dental injury waiting to happen.”
Later, seeing the father do this as well:
Kyan: “Ohmigod, it runs in the family.”

Twins:
“Red words? Blood?”
“No, not blood… There’s colour to those words.”

Thom: “Look at the cake.”
Jai: “In the shower?”
With the addition of like 80 flaming candles to the cake:
Thom: “So much for the interior design, the whole house is gonna burn down.”

Ted to Jai: “You made the girls cry again.”

Ted: “Ohmigod, why would you guys wanna change anything about this place?”

Kyan (about the one twin’s hair): “It still looks a little bit like a mushroom.”

Kyan: “Why did you burn the chairs?”
Twin: “Because we had no more wood.”

Kyan: “What’s that smell?”
Twin: “It’s the old house smell.”
Kyan: “It’s the dirty laundry, I’ve never taken a shower smell.”

Thom: “It’s kinda like a decorating drought in here.”

Jai (about the life size Yoda): “This looks like Carson’s hair. It’s the same weave.”

Carson (about a many times over stolen shirt): “It’s like a chain letter, this shirt.”

Jai and Thom are leaving:
Thom: “These are the most revolting people I’ve ever met. I’m leaving. I can’t do anything for these people.”

Jai: “It’s just…”
Ted: “Gross.”

Thom: “Do you like retro? Do you know what it is?”
Twins: “It’s coming back.”
Thom: “It’s back. What do you mean it’s coming back? It’s already back.”

Kyan: “Go get the mop.”
Jai: “Ohmigod Kyan, I can’t believe you’re making me mop again.”

Thom (laughing): “Dog hair?”
Later:
Thom: “The dog hair couch.”

Thom: It’s no longer the cover of American Squalor magazine.”

Carson: “Would you want to go home with these two? Or at least one?”