Queer Eye Special: Episode 30

QE Review:


Episode 2.30:
Special: Queer Eye for the Gay Guy
Wayne Hollander – Queer Eye for a not-so-straight guy
(or as the boy’s call it, ‘Wayne’s World’)

First Aired in SA: 26 April 06
Rating: Not gonna bother with this anymore because QE episodes always get a Fab Five star rating!


Loved Carson’s new haircut. My hair looks like that on a good day, he, he.

Psychology Lesson: OK, I’m not really putting things in order lately but let me just mention this first. Thom sat down Wayne and gave him a talk about how important it is to get his act together. I don’t know why Thom is so good and insightful with people but he was spot on correct. People that suffer some sort of trauma, will often hide away from the world, spending time in ‘isolation’. You’ll either realize things about yourself and get your life together or you can become totally independent and block out the rest of the world. You soon live in your own place and you’re happy there but you stop caring about the outside world and it makes it so much harder to get back into society when the time comes (‘to get out of the house’) and care about anything else. This also brings up something very important about relationships. If you have a partner and this person can’t look after a plant or a goldfish, etc., it’s highly unlikely this person will put in the energy to make a relationship work with you.

OK, this was a really gay episode. Um, ladies, the Fab 5 are gay, OK. You can’t convert them. OK, so when the opening title sequence comes on, a hairdryer blows away the “straight” of straight guy and “gay” falls in its place. Very clever!
Then the re-emergence of the gay kool-ade, which, trust you me, the gays really do love it.
When they show Wayne as the gay guy, the screen freezes and is pink!
Even the music was gay, with that song that goes “let’s hear it for the boy”.
I loved it when the boys are playing with slinkys and Kyan is playing with the rainbow coloured one (I have one) and he’s like “this is the gay one.”
Wayne punched a whole in the bathroom wall and Kyan tries to figure out what made him so mad and when Kyan hits the wall, he hurts himself!

Safety notice: Wayne had a hollow core door, which basically broke, and the boys called Thom who informed them that this type of door is made of cardboard and it easy to break into a room that has this type of door. So the boys break the door and Wayne freaks out!

Thom goes to British Khaki and explains that this is the type of furniture he lives with.
Carson greets a guy and compliments him, and this guy completely ignores him. Anyway, I love how Carson points out that the difference between a gay guy and a straight guy is their ability to accessorise (I think this is true), and also how accessories are a great conversation starter for gay guys!
Wayne and his friend, Paul, are really good at improv.
The boys love the sound of the cocktail shaker. “Here comes the happy sound.”
This Wayne was quite the character. When he is by himself, he worries crazily and freaks out, but when he is in company, he is fine, probably distracted from his own thoughts. Thom does point out that he has great friends so Wayne must be a great guy.
Why is it that all these guys are not getting dressed in time?
The boys have bit of a guessing game trying to figure out what Wayne was looking for. Kyan got it right, a sponge! It’s Carson’s fault: He attached a sponge to himself earlier on the basis that “You know what it is? It’s handy.” Back in the loft, Ted and Thom are getting asked why there is no sponge (OK, screamed at) and Ted replies “I’m not the sponge provider!”, while Thom quietly says behind his drink “I would improvise.”



Quotes:


Carson: “Wait a minute. I grew up a little gay Jewish boy in the projects!”

Carson: “Stop it!”
Jai: “Just goes to show, bad taste does not discriminate.”
Ted: “They’ll let anybody be gay these days.”
Thom: “Exactly, how did he get his gay card anyway.”
Ted: “He does collect 80s dance music on vinyl.”
Carson: “Now, that’s gay.”

Carson (about Wayne not leaving the New York area in 15 years): “Stop it, that’s so house arrest.”

Ted: “Ohmigod, it’s a 5th floor walk-up.”
All: “No!”

Carson: “He’s in a total shame spiral.”
Thom: “You know what that means. We’re going to his masturbatorium.”

Carson and the boys going up the flights of stairs:
Carson: “We’re gonna have buns of steel by the time we get there… Oww, it burns.”
Thom: “One more.”

Kyan: “I can’t believe this person’s gay.”

Carson: “You’ve got leopard bedding. How tribal.”

Carson and Wayne are going through his record collection;
Wayne: “Madonna, Madonna, Madonna, Madonna, Madonna, Madonna…”
Carson: “OK, he’s gay!”

Kyan: “There’s a disco shower curtain in here you guys. This beats all the shower curtains I’ve ever come in contact with.”

Wayne: “My father used to do that to me when I was little.”
Kyan and Carson (laughing): “Manicure you.”
Carson: “Was your father gay?”

Wayne (about wearing clothes too bug for him): “I didn’t want my contours showing.”

Thom (about the massaging shower head): “Our sisters in the other community, they love these. They live by these.”

Thom: “Is that food?!”

Thom (about Wayne’s spectacles): “Please tell me that is part of a costume.”

Carson (looking at an X-men comic): “This comic strip dude is hot. Why are these pages stuck together? We need to get you a boyfriend, don’t we?”

Thom: “Why are you getting undressed in the refrigerator?”
Wayne: “They told me to.”

Carson puts a really yuck hotdog in his mouth and spits it out: “Oooh, I do have a gag reflex.”

Carson: “Are you sleepy? Oh, it’s just these shoes that are old.”

Thom: “You don’t like salads?… Lettuce?!?!”

Thom: “What the hell, he doesn’t eat anything.”

Carson: “I have some terrible news for you. Lesbians have come in, taken all of your clothing, and left nothing but fleece.”

Carson: “Now, everything in here is too huge. I never thought I’d utter those words. It’s just too huge.”

Kyan: “Are you gonna paint in here, Thom?”
Thom: “Guy’s I’m at a loss.”

Ted: “Wow, it’s starting to get messy in here.”

From the Bravo site: “[Wayne] seems to have saved every plastic shopping bag he’s ever received.”
Kyan: “Carson, remember to put on the grocery list, more bags.”

Thom: “Your peeps will be there to support you.”
Ted: “Your wingmen.”
Carson: “Your posse.”

Kyan: “We’ll have Thom carry up the bikes later.”
Jai: “Definitely.”

Thom: “It’s a man magnet. You better use it for that or I’ll kick your ass.”
Wayne squeaks out a laugh when he sees his new apartment.
Thom: “Oh, that’s not the reaction I was looking for.”

Ted (about a date, the fruit): “Are you willing to try a date?”
Ted (about a nut, the almond): “Stuff the almond into him. Put the skewer through without hitting the nut.”

Wayne: “Where’s my cherry?”
Ted: “That’s something I can’t answer for you, Wayne.”

Ted: “This cheesy, campy presentation is something you could consider.”

Thom: “Gays love their frosted doors.”

Thom: “You can tell he’s not a straight girl cause he’s not going…”
All: “Awesome!”
[It appears to be ‘ohmigod’ for the gays.]

When Wayne’s female friend sees his new closet, she screams.
Carson: “Couture scream.”

Ted: “We should’ve given him a bong.”

Carson: “Here we are at a gay watering hole.”
Thom: “There are patterned shirts as far as the eye can see.”

Carson: “He’s an eye roller.”
Kyan: “It’s always drama with him.”

Thom: “They like him. They really, really like him.”